July 2009 – Rubble

September 2011 – Tilled

We busted out that concrete, hauled off that concrete, sifted the rubble out of the entire yard, and tilled. Today we properly graded and smoothed out the whole thing. Pics of the smooth earth on Saturday. I’m happy to report that we found no dead bodies. Saturday we’ll be putting down our fish fertilizer. Sunday we’ll be putting down our grass seed. Time, water, and sun will give us a lawn. Never has anyone worked so long and hard for grass. I’m beat – can you tell? Time for a beer.

Smile Train

There are millions of children with unrepaired cleft lips and palates who have little to no prospect of ever being helped. Their parents are so poor, they could never afford surgery. So they wait and they hope and they pray that someday, someone will come along and help them. You could be that someone. It costs as little as $250 to give a desperate child not just a new smile, but a new life.

Heifer International

Today, millions of people who were once hungry will be nourished by milk, eggs and fresh vegetables. Families who for generations knew only poverty will be building new homes and starting businesses. Children who once headed out to the fields to do backbreaking work will be heading into schoolrooms to learn to read. And people who never thought they’d be in a position to help someone else will be experiencing the joy of charitable giving.

Broadway Cares / Equity Fights AIDS

Broadway Cares / Equity Fights AIDS is one of the nation’s leading industry based HIV/AIDS fundraising and grant-making organization. We fund the social service work of The Actors Fund and award grants to AIDS service organizations nationwide. With your help, what we do together will make a difference.

Amnesty International

Amnesty International is a global movement of 2.8 million supporters, members and activists in more than 150 countries and territories who campaign to end grave abuses of human rights. Our vision is for every person to enjoy all the rights enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and other international human rights standards. We are independent of any government, political ideology, economic interest or religion and are funded mainly by our membership and public donations. You can help make a real difference by becoming a member or supporter of Amnesty International.

Habitat for Humanity

Decent, affordable housing transforms a family’s life, breaking the cycle of poverty and improving health and educational outcomes. Make a contribution in honor of your friends and family and we’ll send a beautiful e-card or printed card announcing your gift.

Thank you!

:) Brooke & Armand

Here’s where we left it in September:

And here’s the rubble that I dug up today:

I’ve got about six more feet to dig. One of my favorite fellas on DIY Network, Ahmed Hassan, made this handy how-to video that we’ll be following as soon as the diggin’ gets dug:

Now, I’m off to eat something yummy. Guess they don’t get that on the chain gang.

Pinterest is a virtual pinboard. Pinterest allows you to organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. You can browse pinboards created by other people to discover new things and get inspiration from people who share your interests.
People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and share their favorite recipes.

What does it do? Well, I’ll tell ya! It accesses all of the images on the internet and allows you to make a pinboard (mood board, collage, etc.) of all of your favs, following a theme of your choosing. I’ve got boards for every room in and out of the house, for fashion inspiration, and for bridesmaid dress ideas for my brother’s wedding (we get to pick our own dresses – yes!). It’s amazing. It has really helped bring together all of the ideas I’ve had floatin’ ’round the brain bowl.

Here’s a screenshot of my Upper Yard pinboard:

See all of my pinboards here: http://pinterest.com/brooketansley!

(See the nine months of concrete demo here.) Then we had many a bonfire on our dirt lawn.

Next, it became a construction war zone during the seven months of roof demo, reframing the top of the house, and roof construction. (See the seven months of the roof project here.)

So, this is where we stand today.

That’s where we burned the few scraps of wood that we had left. (See where all of our construction debris went and what it’ll become here.)

So here we are. What’s next? I’ll tell ya!

Phase 1 of Upper Yard Construction
- install French drain down by the retaining wall
- till, properly grade, and tamp our land
- construct our paver fire circle
- construct a cover for our fire
- add topsoil and plant our grass
- finish filling in masonry wall
- buy new straw bales
- make outdoor fabric straw bale slip covers
- make straw bale stands (for drainage – explanation of this later)
- party

Of course, once broken down, each of these items on the list come with a long list of its own. And we’ll break it down for ya as we get to each step.

Phases 2 and 3 of Upper Yard Construction
- extend the tall masonry wall up and over
- apply white smooth stucco to all masonry
- build a planter for star jasmine and getting it to join the vines on the side of the neighbor’s garage
- plant decorative plants
- buy a projector for outdoor movie nights
- build a slide on wire retractable awning for daytime shade
- accessorize

We don’t know when we’ll get to what and in what order, but as the plan materializes we’ll share it with ya!

Love the pergola (and the Photoshop skills – look at the shadow. Jealous!). Love the medallion. Love the porch. Love the window framing. Love love love! Especially considering that just two months ago, the house looked like this:

I did a little playing around with some ideas of my own (sadly, my Photoshop skills are not nearly on the level with Cousin Mark’s). Check it out:

A million thank yous to Cousin Mark – you are a great talent and such an inspiration!

As we prepped for a day of hauling load after load to the dump, Armand asked, “Is it worth putting all of this stuff up on craigs’s list?”. Yes, Armand. Yes it is. But would anyone want dry, brittle, tar-streaked wood, tiny rectangles of plywood, and – count ‘um – three – 30′x50′ tarps cut to tiny pieces?

Observe:

The plywood went right away. The takers are using it to make concrete forms to repair their dad’s foundation. The rest of the wood took three days to unload, but all of it will be put to good use. A set designer needs to create the inside of a barn for a two-person staged drama, an artist will be creating sculptures, and a gal will be repurposing it into some furniture. Perhaps the most exciting pickup for us was Jacqueline Sharp, a hot lady welder and woodworker who’s starting a business. Super talented, and couldn’t be nicer.

She’ll be creating steel frames and inlaying the wood after she runs each piece through a planer to freshen it up (and slough off the tar), much like this coffee table that I pinned on Pinterest (more on that later!).

We can’t wait to show you what these pieces of our house become!

I know, I know – you guys are saying “why didn’t you make something with all of that wood?”. Truth is, our plates are full and we just aren’t at the point of furnishing this house for realsies yet. We don’t know what we’ll want/need. But we did set aside the old redwood rafters. We have a feeling we’ll make something beautiful with them when the time comes.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about our latest foray into craigs’s list were the people interested in the cut up pieces of tarp. Twelve people were in competition for ‘um! They went to Bill, a nice man who was the first to come by. He works on bicycles and only needs small pieces to cover each bike.

So, now we’ve got a new policy – head to craig’s before we throw anything away. All in all we saved $250 dollars in dump fees and kept five Toyota Tacoma loads of stuff out of the landfill. Everybody wins.

And now, we finally resume Upper Yard construction!

COCKTAIL HOUR
After the ceremony our guests headed out to the lobby for the cocktail hour. Armand, the Wedding Party, and I headed to the dressing room to sign our Marriage License and partake in a group shot of whiskey. After a little 15 minute break, we joined everyone else in the lobby.

DIY PHOTOBOOTH
In theory, this was perfect. The photos looked great in the camera, the lightning was right, folks had a blast with it, and it only cost us $35 for a big CF card for the camera. Too bad the new CF card was defective and corrupted all of the files. Yeah. I get sick to my stomach when I think about it. At least we’re only talking about 48 pictures. The booth was out in the lobby, so it only got used during the cocktail hour, and wasn’t meant to be the major focal point of the wedding.

Everything we needed for it was at the theatre already. We used an adjustable height wardrobe rack with a backdrop over it for the background, two black stools from the orchestra pit, and a music stand to hold the instructions. Some of the lighting equipment we already owned and an additional light was brought in by our photographer.

BOUNTY TABLE
Wow. Jill Donnelly with the Post University Dining Hall Staff really wowed the crowd, not only with the amazing eats, but with the presentation.

Here’s what I remember: shrimp cocktail, garlic roasted peppers, marinated mushrooms, a selection of olives and tapenades, fine breads spilling out of a cornucopia with a selection of herb-infused olive oils, artisan cheeses, a selection of crackers and wafers, figs, dates, grapes, and much more.

GUESTBOOK
Folks had a lot of fun with the telegrams, aside from the usual well-wishes.

DINNER
Dinner was the best food I’ve ever had at a wedding. There was a pasta station, seafood station, and meat station. It was amazing, made to order, and served up hot. Dessert was cupcakes and canoles. Delicious!

We decided that all of the music would be 1920s-1950s. We decided to do this so that the old folks wouldn’t feel left out, and it worked out even better than we had anticipated. Mothers were dancing with sons, fathers with daughters, husbands with wives, godparents with godchildren, Armand with our aunts, me with our uncles, etc. We set the volume level at ‘loud enough to dance, but low enough for easy conversation’. Armand and I were so thrilled that the music worked out so wonderfully. We wanted everyone to have fun and dance, not just the young folks! We had the playlists on CDs. Armand pre-recorded voiceover tracks directing folks to the lobby for cocktail hour, announcing special dances, and such.

Here’s a sampling of the tunes:

PRESHOW
(approx. 80 min. of music – we just stopped it when we were ready)
Black and Tan Fantasy …….. Duke Ellington
Talking Picture …….. Johnny Hamp and his KY Serenaders
World War One Montage …….. Beatrice Lillie
Maple Leaf Rag …….. Sidney Bechet
The Charleston …….. Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra
Make the Best of It …….. Jimmy Durante
How Long Will It Last …….. Joan Crawford
I Want To Be Loved By You …….. Helen Kane
Let’s Misbehave …….. Irving Aaronson and his Commanders
The Chant …….. Jelly Roll Morton
West End Blues …….. Louis Armstrong
Let’s Fall in Love …….. Dorsey Brothers and Bing Crosby
Petite Suite (ii – Cortege) …….. Claude DeBussey
Some of These Days …….. Sophie Tucker/Ted Lewis Orchestra
Varsity Drag …….. George Olson
Making Whoopee …….. Eddie Cantor
My Man …….. Fanny Brice
Louise …….. Maurice Chevalier
Whispering ……..Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra
I’ve Found a Brand New Baby …….. Sidney Bechet
Doctor Jazz …….. Jelly Roll Morton
Darktown Struthers Ball …….. Ted Lewis and his Orchestra
Lucky Lindy …….. Nat Shilknet and his Orchestra
If You Knew Suzie …….. Eddie Cantor
Grandpa’s Spells …….. Jelly Roll Morton
Black Bottom Stomp …….. Johnny Hamp and his KY Serenaders
Mr. Jelly Lord …….. Jelly Roll Morton

PROCESSIONAL
Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World …….. Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

DINNER
Classical

DANCING
(approx. 5 hours of music – lots of Rat Pack)
Our First Dance: You’re Getting To Be a Habit With Me …….. Bing Crosby

Father/Daughter Dance: Beauty & the Beast …….. from the Broadway musical
The next three are a Tansley family joke
Two Buffaloes …….. Rolf Harris
Court of King Caractacus …….. Rolf Harris
Where is the Love? …….. Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway

THE CEREMONY
We used Neale Donald Walsh’s ceremony as a starting point and then restructured/rewrote whatever was necessary to make it more reflective of us and what we believe. We also asked both sets of parents if they would like to speak, with both of the fathers taking the bait.

Our original officiant, dropped out via email 2 1/2 days before the wedding. I had told him a few months prior that we had written a ceremony and I’d emailed him the final draft a couple of weeks before the wedding. He sent it back to me 6 days before the big day with massive revisions and additions that were not what we had discussed. The Corinthians quote (Love is Patient…) had been added with commentary (we aren’t Christian, and didn’t want the Bible in our wedding), a Shakespeare quote with commentary, and the ceremony proper had been changed to a theatrically-themed (I felt it was quite cheesy) event. Imagine the verbal equivalent of decorating an entire place in Comedy/Tragedy masks.

Examples: Us – “May your lives be woven into one design.”
Changed to – “May your lives be woven into one real life drama.”
Us – “May your home be a place of laughter.”
Changed to – “May your home be a theatre of laughter.”
You get the idea.

I emailed him, complimented his work, thanked him for spending the time on it, and explained that we thought the theatrically-themed ceremony would be a distraction from the point of the ceremony. After all, we weren’t celebrating our careers. Also, we’re not Christian.

This was the resulting email exchange:
Him – “I did not realize that you were not Christians as you referenced ‘God’ and ‘Holy Communion’ several times in your original ceremony.”
Me – “Christians don’t have a monopoly on God!”
Him – “Dear Brooke, I have done over thirty weddings for a number of people, many of them famous, many interracial and inter religious. I know my stuff. I am not comfortable being a mere set piece reader at your wedding. There are, in addition, a number of moves at your wedding that are not workable, including the ring part. I do not think you need the services of a Superior Court Judge to read your words. Any Justice of the Peace will do. Count me out. And have a great life together!… Why deny the theatre connection while you are being married in one and on the stage at that! In our culture, the connection was a given!”

The sad thing is, is that we didn’t want him to marry us because he’s important. We wanted him because he and I performed in many shows together at that theatre throughout my childhood. He was the only person with the legal authority to marry us that has a connection to both the theatre and my family.

I got this email while my Aunt and Cousin were at the house helping my mom and I construct pomanders for ceremony decor.

Immediately, everyone got on the phone to help us find a replacement. After nearly ending up with different JOP who asked if she would at least have a few minutes to speak about herself at the ceremony and wanted to add that same Corinthians quote, one of our guests came through with a wonderful friend that became a JOP when him friends could not find an officiant to perform the ceremony they wanted. So he was perfect.

Dr. Raphael Schwartz and his wife came and joined the celebration, and both of them expressed to us that our wedding, our families, and our love for each other made them feel renewed. He performed the ceremony as a mitzvah, with honest intent, emotion, and energy, and as a result we were all so moved. Both Armand and I cried through the whole thing, and during the reception it was wonderful hearing each guest try to find the words to describe how it made them feel and what they saw in it. We got to do the ceremony that we wanted, and that was a reflection of who we are, what we believe, our beliefs concerning marriage, and our wishes for each other, ourselves, and our loved ones. I will never forget it.

The theme of our wedding was ‘Our Family Tree’, making our wedding a celebration not only of the love between Armand and I, but of the generations of love that brought us into being and that we all share today. We had the processional entrances go by generation. The grandparents, Armand’s parents, my parents, our attendants with the flower girl (representing the up-and-coming generation), and then us. Finding a way to make tradition, feminism, and respect all come together in a wedding ceremony was a challenge. I couldn’t be okay with being given away or escorted by my father (of course I love my father, but I don’t love the history of this tradition) so instead, both sets of parents were invited to speak (with both fathers stepping up). Armand and I exchanged rings, but then placed our own rings on ourselves, symbolic of marriage being an active free choice by two individuals.

It was wonderful hearing everyone struggle to find just the right words to express how they felt about our ceremony. People were genuinely and deeply moved, and really got it. I’m so happy that we fought to do it our way.

The ceremony, clocking in at 31 minutes in its entirety (including speakers and the processional), is included below:

INTRODUCTION
Armand and Brooke have asked you here today to bear witness to their love for each other and their commitment to live, work, and grow together as husband and wife. They have asked me to thank you for being here to witness this choice that they have made. You are the people that are closest to them in all the world. Thank you for coming. They also have asked me to express their wish that this wedding will bring all of us closer together in our relationships. Every wedding is not just a ritual of love, but a reminder of its limitless possibility.

SPEAKERS
(Officiant introduces the first speaker, the Father of the Groom, Gabriel DesHarnais. Father of the Groom speaks.)

(Officiant introduces the second speaker, the Father of the Bride, Robert Tansley. Father of the Bride speaks.)

CEREMONY
Now Armand and Brooke, you have told me it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .

. . . that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed . . .

. . .not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .

. . .but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life . . . all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength . . . resides within you . . .

. . . and that you are not marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.

Is that your firm understanding tonight?

(They say, “It is.”)

And Brooke and Armand, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, or hindering each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best within you – including your love of God, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity, your love of work, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still your firm understanding tonight?

(They say, “It is.”)

Finally, Brooke and Armand, you have said to me that you see marriage as producing opportunities . . .

. . . opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about yourself, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls . . .

. . . that this is truly a Holy Communion . . . a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.

Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(They say, “It is.”)

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today?

(BM gives Officiant the rings. Officiant holds rings in his hand as he says . . .)

A circle is the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace. It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love, and life . . . that which has no beginning and no end. And in this moment, Brooke and Armand choose for it to also be a symbol of unity and of joining.

Now Armand and Brooke, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other.

(They take each other’s rings.)

Armand, please repeat after me.

I, Armand . . . ask you, Brooke . . . to be my wife . . . to love and cherish from this day on . . . for richer . . . for poorer . . . and in sickness and in health . . . I declare my intention to give you my love . . . in the good times . . . and in the hard ones too . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before God and those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Light of Divinity within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come . . . It is my intention to be with you forever . . . that we may do together God’s work . . . sharing all that is good within us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.

(The Officiant turns to Brooke.)

Brooke, will you be Armand’s wife?

(She answers, “I will.”)

Now Brooke, please repeat after me.

I, Brooke . . . ask you, Armand . . . to be my husband . . . to love and cherish from this day on . . . for richer . . . for poorer . . . and in sickness and in health . . . I declare my intention to give you my love . . . in the good times . . . and in the hard ones too . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before God and those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the Light of Divinity within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come . . . It is my intention to be with you forever . . . that we may do together God’s work . . . sharing all that is good within us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.

(Officiant turns to Armand.)

Armand, will you be Brooke’s husband?

(He answers, “I will.”)

Please then, both of you, take the rings you would give each other, and repeat after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . . I take now the ring you give to me . . . (they exchange rings) . . . and place it upon my hand . . . (they place the rings on their hands) . . . that all may see and know . . . of my love for you.

(They kiss!)

(The Officiant closes . . .)

And so now, inasmuch as you, Brooke, and you, Armand, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these, your family and friends, and God – we observe joyfully that you have declared yourself to be . . . husband and wife.

BLESSING
Let us all take hands and join now in prayer.

In all the world, two souls have found each other. Their destinies will now be woven into one design, and their perils and their joys shall not be known apart. Armand and Brooke, may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a place for prayer and a place for love. May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

Amen.

THE FASHION
After trying on a beautiful $4000 dress that I knew that I couldn’t afford, I headed to David’s Bridal and got a $900 dress that did the trick. If I had it to do again, I’d get a more creative dress for less money on Etsy, like my dear friend Val did for her wedding.

This is a signed Whiting & Davis mesh bag from the late 20s. I got it for $40 – I’ve seen similar ones selling online and in other stores for up to $395. Score!
Both the earrings and purse came from Hubba Hubba! in Burbank. This store supplies the wardrobe for the show Mad Men.

I rocked a birdcage veil.

These are dance shoes that were custom made for me to wear in a show that I was in for 2 1/2 years. They are replicas of a pair of 1962 prom shoes. The most comfortable shoes ever!

Shower dress & Welcome/Rehearsal Dinner dress:

Shoes for each (I heart vintage heels!):

The bridesmaids wore whatever they wanted, as did the groomsmen. It was enough to ask most of the wedding party to travel to CT for the wedding without making them buy clothes on top of it.

THE FLOWERS
Candice Milliard of Candi’s Floral Creations did the flowers. Their beauty overwhelmed me, and I cried when I saw them. I have never known much about flowers, so I just gave her the colors and a general idea of what art, architecture, and shapes that I like. The rest was up to her. She is a true artist. I’m so glad that I just let her do her work and didn’t try to get specific with my limited knowledge of what’s out there and what’s possible. I trusted her completely and the end result was magnificent in a way that I could never have envisioned myself beforehand, and it wouldn’t have been nearly as breathtaking had I tried to nail down the details. I think that successful wedding planning is one part identifying your own talents and using them to the max, and one part recognizing where you haven’t a clue, finding talented people to step in, trusting them entirely, and staying out of their way so that they can do incredible work. I wanted her knowledge, artistry, and expertise, and I feel like her talent and creative spirit were unencumbered and free to express themselves to their highest potential.

The whole look: